Twitter Litter

Ok, the time has come for me to address Twitter. Over the past week I have been asked about Twitter by many people. Over the past months, Twitter conversations and media attention to the brand has been shoved down my throat. Today I will answer that question that literally makes me reply "AHHHHHH!" (*In IM Conversations)

"Hey Chris, do you use Twitter?"

In short (as if the opening tone didn't answer the question already): No I don't. Nor will I ever.

Let's go back a few months. Twitter hit the scene in 2006, but did not really hit mainstream until 2008. The growing demand for social networks via cell phone and the popularity of Apple's App Store is what I believe really set this market off (not to mention the recent media sign off on all things Twitter). Since I think I'm cool with my iPhone and display some social network snobbery (Facebook rules and MySpace is for sexual predators), I decided to investigate what all the "Tweeting" was about.

Twitter went over my head (or below my head, however you look at it), so I had to ask my brother what this new youth movement was. He explained. I still didn't get it. Why would I want to communicate what I am doing at all times? And who freakin' cares? (We'll look over the hypocracy that is this blog where I write about me...)

I decided to test it out with a free App from the App Store. I sent out fewer Tweets than the chorus of Rockin' Robin contains just to test the waters. I looked at the mindless stuff that people were sending out updates on (Sweet! Minute-by-Minute updates on how close to the front of the line you are for the Batman premiere...). America seems so wrapped up in themselves to understand that No One Cares what you are doing!

Ok, call my disdain for Twitter a sign of old age, but before you do, let me metephorically go out on my front lawn in my robe and shake my fist at twittering kids. What happened to the old standards of simple conversations or phone calls to let me know what you're doing? Or even the new standards of IMs, Texts, Facebook Statuses or Blogs? I don't need minute-by minute updates of your boring daily routine.

Now the media has caught hold and pushed this even further by "providing insight into the lives of your favorite celebrities." Even ESPN has grabbed onto this and provides constant feeds proving that it's not just for E! Still, why do I care? I don't know these people and most of them I couldn't care less about. An exception is Martellus Bennett, whose wit and Aggie-ness form an entertaining script. Still, it's so hard to follow with all of the other conversations going on that I don't bother.

I hate Twitter. If you use it, you're too self-involved. I just don't get it. Nor will I ever. The Twitter movement should wrap up in time for some Google driven product to take the scene and continue to ruin America.

So put that in your pipe and Tweet it.