Reasons to Hate PTTS

I touched on PTTS briefly in yesterdays entry. Let me tell you now how they briefly touched on me...or more specifically, how they touched on my van yesterday. After my long and hectic Tuesday morning of working by myself, I hoped the afternoon shift would be a breeze. But it wasn't the case. Our first task was to head over to the SCC to drop some things off. I drove the university van down the street, parked on the curb as we normally do and went inside. As we were exiting the SCC, Claudio's attention turned to a Nissan Altima which had just backed into our van. "Outstanding," I said as I walked down the steps and towards our vehicles. The woman exited her car. She was dressed in the traditional blue attire which the PTTS employees wear. She however was in her own car, most likely on her way home. I sent Tiffany a text message immediately as we walked over to the woman. "PTTS just backed into the van." I told Claudio to get a hold of someone from our building and when he couldn't reach them by phone, he walked down the sidewalk back to our building. The woman was busy talking on her walkie talkie and pacing around, so I sat back in the van leaving the door open. Maybe the semi-working AC would provide some protection from the blistering Texas heat. I watched as the lady wandered off. Not too sure where she went, I was not worried as her car was still parked in front of us. I closed the door to trap some of the cool air and sat and waited. Soon Claudio called back down to me and I told him I'd lost the lady. He told me he'd be back down in a bit. So I continued waiting. A short time later, the woman sauntered back down the sidewalk towards me. I jumped out of the van to hurry and get this mess taken care of.
"Did you call the cops?" She asked.
"No, I was waiting for you to get back to see if you had..." I replied.
"Why not?"
"You were on your walkie talkie, I figured you were calling someone."
"Oh me?" She said, "I'm not a cop."
"Oh I know.." I said as I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
"You should have called the police," She said again.
"I was waiting to see if you had done so," I talked as slowly as I could and added "I figured you had."
"Well I did," she said, "They should be here anytime now."
"Then what's the problem?"
The woman came at me with a bad attitude which I did not appreciate. I had come up to her with a smile and an understanding nature. Her automatic defensiveness irritated me. When the cop arrived, her defense became more and more offending.
"They snuck in behind me, I didn't even see them park," she claimed.
"We were actually inside the SCC when she backed into the van." I told the officer and smiled.
"Well...they were in my blind spot. I couldn't even see the van." She said, nodding to convince herself. I chuckled as this situation reminded me of a scene from Snatch. ("It was a funny angle." "It was behind you Tyrone... When you reverse, things come from behind you!")
This was classic, quite entertaining, "We were behind you..." I said. Seriously, it's a big maroon van, how can you miss it? Her Altima must have terrible blind spots in order to miss it. Let's insert a diagram.



















It's drawn to scale the best I could. Let's compare this to an illustration I found on the internet showing where actual blind spots are located:














It seems the pink area does not overlap the blue area at all. In fact, I think if you add in the pink region to the blue region, you find out that this woman has a blind spot which consists of at least 50% of her car. Perhaps this is what happens when you don't look behind you. My conclusion from these diagrams is If you don't look behind you, you can't see behind you. Now, this doesn't make what's behind you your blind spot, this makes you an idiot.
She obviously hadn't looked behind her before going in reverse. One of the first things they'll probably tell you in driver's ed. Or maybe they don't, it's pretty much common sense. As essential as looking out the front windshield when the car is in drive. Her "blind spot" argument was definately a contributing factor to the ticket for Unsafe Backing she ended up recieving. The officer copied down her information as she approached me and asked why I hadn't parked in spaces where she was parked.

"They're 24 Hour reserved," I said.
"Well, looking at your parking sticker, you can park in 24 hour reserved," she said very smugly.
"Not in numbered spaces," I replied. Come on you're PTTS, you should know this.
"Well, why didn't you park down there?" She pointed toward the loading dock.
I pointed at the sign by the loading dock and read it aloud, "Do not block loading zone." I continued, "This is where we were told to park, this is where Physical Plant and everyone else parks." I pointed at the other cars along the curb, none of them had been backed into. If I had parked in these other spaces, she no doubt would be the one to ticket me and yet she's telling me to do this trying to pass the blame on me. It's not gonna happen.
"Well this isn't the first time you've blocked me in, you're lucky this didn't happen sooner." She finally said.
How am I lucky? I'd prefer if it happened earlier, the weather probably wouldn't be this hot if it was in the winter time. It's not my car, it's not my problem, I don't really care if it happened. It was an inconvenience standing out in this now sweat drenched shirt talking to your rude face, and for that I do not consider myself lucky. And how did I block you in? How is it neccesary for you to back across the entire road in order to get your little Altima out of the space. Whatever... "Ok," was the only word I said as I walked off. I took down the insurance information as the cop talked to the woman. He sent her off and then came over to me. Told me I was not at fault since she did back into my parked vehicle. He seemed very irritated with the woman as well. I shook his hand, took his card with case number and walked back to the van.

By the time I had returned to our building, everyone knew about the situation. "Demolition Crew" was one of the many names we'd been tagged with. The number 0 had been written in the space before "Days w/o An Accident" on my dry erase board in the office. I took the information down to my boss, Myron. I handed him the case number and reached into my pocket and pulled out the sheet I'd written her insurance information on.
"I didn't know what to write, so I copied down everything on...." I began, but was interupted.
"This is all wet..." Myron said.
"Yeah, I had to stand outside for a long time, so I'm all sweaty." I told him, then decided to add,"And that actually came out of my back pocket. So that's butt sweat.."
"That's Disgusting!" Myron yelled, "Take this down the hall to John, get out of here."
I copied the information down on a different sheet of paper and left it with him.

When told about the accident, I was asked by a woman in the office, "Was it a short, kinda wide lady with a blank stare..?"
"Well...yes," I replied, "but that describes just about everyone that works for PTTS."
She laughed and then appologized, "I'm sorry...you're right."

Greg, the lab supervisor at Blocker said the best story about PTTS that he knows is the time they ticketed an emergency vehicle. He said he witnessed them writing a ticket and placing it under the windshield wiper of an ambulance with its emergency lights on. He told me he would have liked to see the appeal on that one and wishes he had a camera at the time.

So all in all, PTTS is pretty worthless (aside from my buddy Christopher Wade Wilson). That is something everyone can agree on. So, as the new school year starts and all the little fish are moving in, I want to welcome the Class of 2009 and tell them that PTTS actually stands for Primarily To Torment Students.

I received the diagnosis for my computer from the nerds today. Apparently the RAM is damaged and that is causing the computer to shut off randomly. New RAM would cost $91.80. I think I can deal with the random shutdowns and I'll keep the $91.80 in my bank account. Actually...I don't have $91.80 in my bank account. Which is the main problem. I plan on picking the computer up after work and I should return back to the 21st Century, once again having internet in my house. And since my profile is the only way most people know how to get to my blog (including me), y'all can once again read this. I've been alright without the internet the past couple of days. Luckily Dooley's vacant room served very well as a Rec Room and allows plenty of space for Nick and I to play various sports, including our new favorite, Pro Kadima. Come over sometime, we'll teach you how to play.